1. What, in your opinion is the most important division within the human race? (e.g. smokers/non-smokers, Conservative/Labour, desktop/laptop)

Male/Female

2. On which side of the answer to #1 do you fall?

Female (yay!)

3. How long, on average, does it take you to get rid of someone trying to sell you something over the phone?
30 seconds

4. What is the most expensive object you have ever broken on purpose? ('when angry' counts as 'on purpose' even if you regretted it soon afterwards)

I broke someone's hand once. I was angry and did regret it.

5. What is your preferred method of sharpening a knife?

In someone's back. KIDDING!

6. In your view, is it more important for the Americans to adopt a less confrontational foreign policy, or to learn how to pronounce the word "aluminium"?

I think the Brits' pronounciation of that word is hilarious. I also think that Americans need to get their fingers out of so many pies.

7. If you had the opportunity to become immortal, would you take it?

Hell no! Life is exhausting. It will be nice to have my run, and then have my rest....you know?

8. On balance, are you angry about the part of the monitor tube that is covered by the plastic housing, or pleased about the extra 24 bytes in a kilobyte?

WTF?

9. If you buy something for 99p with a £1 coin, do you really want the 1p back?

I'd probably want the 1p back, as it's foreign currency and that's just cool. I don't like keeping pennies, though. Poor pennies. :(

10. Do you trust that fancy new paint which goes on pink and dries white?

I'd be pissed off that it didn't stay pink. Pink rocks!

11. Have you ever combined a Burger King burger with McDonalds fries in persuit of the ultimate fast food experience?

I don't do Burger King. The only things I get at McDonalds are their grilled chicken sandwiches and vanilla ice cream cones....and I'm terribly ashamed to admit it.

12. Do you own a box of those little plastic rings for reinforcing punched holes?

Only as of this year, because the kids are always asking for them.

13. If you could issue one decree as an absolute monarch, what would it be?

You must be issued a license in order to be able to procreate.

14. If copies are free, do you check the settings first, or just press the button and see what happens?

Check settings. I'm o.c. that way.

15. If you had to have one, and only one bumper sticker, what would it say?

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

16. What objects would you be nervous if you didn't have a spare for?

Underwear, tires, keys, change, friends, dates, time....

17. If you bought a new BMW 520i, would you choose the "Delete badge" option?

No. I'd want to show it off.

18. What was the last thing you shouted while alone in a car?

"Son of a bitch!" I was upset about something, and that's what I say when I'm upset....to nobody in particular.

19. What is your typical path through a supermarket?

Produce first, then bread, then dairy, then meat, then teas and coffees, then drinks or desserts if I'm in the mood for something like that.

20. Do you lick the underside of the foil top when eating a pot of yoghurt?

Yes! And I always feel self-conscious about doing it in front of people, so I'll wait until someone looks away and then do it. But I can't throw away a yogurt container until I've licked the top.

21. Do you abbreviate the words "you", "are", “to” and “for” in text messages?

Only when in a great hurry, and it kills me to do it. English major/teacher here.

22. Have you ever tried to use an optical mouse on a mirror, just to see what happened?

No. I have too much of a life for that. I think.

23. If you were alone at the time, what would be the least hygienic location from which you'd be prepared to retrieve and eat a potato chip you'd just dropped?

A floor that didn't have any visible dirt on it.

24. With reference to #23, where would overstep the mark?

In a full trash can.

25. Have you ever read the documentation for your company pension scheme?

Probably. Once. I don't remember. So I guess no.

26. How many of the Asterix / Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy / Terry Pratchett / Harry Potter books have you read?

All the Harry Potter books

27. How many greetings cards have you sent in the last 12 months?

Less than 10? I've been lazy. I used to be much better at that.

28. A criminal maniac invites you to "Pick a city for destruction, Mr. Bond." Which one do you choose?

None. I wouldn't destroy anything in this world. It's terrible karma.

29. Which font do you use most often?

That fancy, cursive script one.

30. What happened the last time you applied excessive force to an inanimate object?

I don't make a habit of being excessively forceful, so I can't remember.

31. Can you tell whether a Union Jack is hung the right way up?

No. But I do know if an American flag is hung the right way up....so there!

32. If it was a matter of life or death, what is the earliest month for which you could produce your bank statement?

This month. Everything is online. Mwaha!

33. If you could choose any person living or dead, who would you most like to hit repeatedly in the face with a small wooden gavel?

George Bush

34. If you had the choice between a petrol chainsaw or a bread knife, which would you use for felling a small tree with a 1" diameter trunk?

Neither. I wouldn't ever cut down a tree.

35. If you could ban one figure of speech, one acronym and one word, what would they be?

"Pop." That ghastly word that Northwesterners use for "soda." Damn them!

36. If you ran over a teddy bear lying in the road, would you feel guilty?

Yes! I love stuffed animals.

37. If your house was besieged, which consumable would you run out of last - assuming you didn't starve?

I have about 5,000 tea bags. Do they count?

38. List the BBC national radio stations in order of preference as driving companions.

How's about I don't? Here in SF, I listen to Energy 92.7, Live 105, and 97 The Beat. I listen to my iPod more than the radio, though.

39. When making a graph in MS Excel, do you place it on a separate sheet or on the sheet with the source data?

I don't use Excel.

40. Which way up do you hold a map when travelling South?
I don't know how to hold a map, or which way is South. I am directionally challegened.

41. How would you answer a 5 year-old who asked you why the sky is blue?

"Because that's the way God made it, stupid."

42. When did you last use a highlighter pen?

College

43. On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you know when to use a semicolon?

9

44. What proportion of the CDs you own are in their original cases right now?

0

45. What songs, television shows, books, paintings etc are you irrationally embarrassed to admit that you don’t like?

I'm not embarrassed to admit anything that I don't like. It's the things that I do like that are sometimes embarrassing to own up to(i.e. some Britney Spears songs)

46. Based on sound rather than content, which person’s voice irritates you the most?

Anyone with a Boston accent

47. How accurate is the time on your watch?

How the hell should I know? It works for me.

48. Have you ever written to, emailed or telephoned a newspaper, radio station, TV programme etc? If so, what did you say?

Not since high school. I was pissed off about a curfew law they put into place for high school students, and I wrote an angry letter.

49. Do you, in the most fundamental depths of your soul, give a crap about the extinction of the Red Cockaded Woodpecker?

Yes. It's a tragedy when a species dies out. That's epic.

50. What is the cheapest thing you’ve bought with a debit or credit card in the past month?

A pack of gum. I never carry cash!