6:29 p.m. - Testing 1,2,3
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This week back at school has been tough. The P.E. teacher made her big announcement yesterday (that she's leaving), so today the kids are acting out. They're just being little shits. I think what might be going through their minds is "who's next?" So of course they go all out and test to see who they can break first, because they're tired of being let down and abandoned. This way, they can weed out the weaklings and learn who they can truly put their trust in. Like my little bit of child psychology there? That's my theory, anyway. On the other side of the line, it's not a pretty thing to have to deal with. My response today was "I'm not going to put up with anything less than what I ask of you; if you cannot give me that, then we will have a very silent, militant class until I get it." Today they did a lot of reading and taking notes and working completely on their own. I gave out 15 detentions and had to march one of my classes back outside to have them practice lining up and walking quietly through the hallways. If - a mere two years ago - I had heard of a teacher doing things like this, I would have thought that she a too-tough drill sargaent. However, it's what works with these kids. There are a few who I don't get along with, but for the most part I'm well-liked and they do what I ask of them. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I've dropped the whole "if you guys just did this ____, things could be like this ____." Now it's "you don't want to be quiet and listen to each other share out? You'll sit there and be silent for the next hour. Have fun!" I'm such a bitch. I don't enjoy it. It's what my particular brand of kids require. Welcome to teaching in Oakland! I'm just emotionally drained at the end of the day. Teaching can also be emotionally fulfilling, but so far this year it's seemed that there's been much more give than there has been take. The staff fulfills me, definitely. I have several really good friends there. I even volunteered to spend half my Saturday at work helping to interview new P.E. teacher candidates, as I knew we would all drink lots of free coffee and shoot the shit and have a grand time. Still, I wish I could find much more to latch on to at the end of each day than "well, that's one day less to go" or "at least I'll have fun with my colleagues this weekend." I'm told that the kids will start giving more when they see me return next year. Maybe so, but that's a hell of a long time to wait. In other news....I don't really have other news. I did take off an hour early today, and I ran a lot of errands that I couldn't have otherwise. I picked up my European winter coat from the dry cleaner's, I mailed some packages off to family, I bought some of my favorite vegan banana muffins at Nabalam Bakery on College Ave., and I even called my mom. I'm such a good daughter. I should have my ass in yoga right now, but instead I'm in my room winding down. That's a side-effect of being emotionally drained at the end of each day: you have little energy or motivation with which to do anything else. I'm looking forward to tearing through the stack of new books and magazines I have, though. I haven't been able to voraciously read in a long time. What the hell is up with all these Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls re-runs. I thought I'd come back from Europe and have all these new episodes waiting for me on DVR....but nope. It was so bitterly disappointing. At least I had my episodes of Ghost Whisperer. I don't watch TV during the week, so I live for my DVR - can ya tell? I hear that The O.C. is being cancelled. A year ago, I would have been devastated; it used to be one of those shows that I "lived for." Now it just sucks. It's like getting rid of Brenda on 90210; you can't kill off/write out the main rich bitch. That's what teen soap dramas are all about! Not that I'm the world's greatest Mischa Barton fan, but I liked the "will they, won't they?" plot with her and Ryan. Anyway. I'm off to finish The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: Book 4. See ya!
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